No More Tears...

I wrote the following post for "Reclaiming the Woman Within" and wanted to share this with my followers too.

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I watched "17 Again" last weekend with the kids and actually thought it was quite amusing. It made me cry so it moved me at least...but that's my problem...I cry at the drop of a hat.

Last year I watched The Bucket List and bawled for another ten minutes into my pillow. Grey's Anatomy makes me cry every single week! Tell me a sad story from your youth and I'll tear up. I just can't control my emotions! I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I'm happy, sad, mad...you can see it on my face and hear it my voice.

My mother on the other hand does not cry. Her brother passed away two weeks ago and I didn't see her shed a single tear. Me on the other hand was sobbing uncontrollably. I asked her a week after the funeral how she was able to maintain her composure. She told me that she felt sad but there were no tears. She then opened up to me about the time when her mother left China to come to Canada. My mother is a very private person...she rarely tells us about her childhood or about her mother.

She started to tell me about that day when she was at the airport saying goodbye to her mother. She wasn't able to come to Canada because she was 24 and too old to be sponsored. She didn't know when the next time she would see her mother again. She had never been separated from her mother before. They had slept together every night as long as she could remember. She described how they went to the roof of the airport to watch the plane take-off. It was when the engines started that the flood gates opened and she sobbed and sobbed so hard that there were no cries. I'm crying by now because I know what happens next...her mother's plane crashed that night into Mt. Fuji and she never saw her mother again until she arrived in Canada for the funeral. From my aunt I had heard that she didn't cry at the funeral. My mother says she has no more tears...they are all gone...she feels very sad but there are no tears.

I used to wish that I could control my emotions and not cry so much but now after hearing this story from my mother I pray that I will never have to experience anything close to what she has experienced. No one should. I'm lucky that in my almost 40 years I've never had to endure any kind of hardship that I can remember. I was badly scalded when I was two but I have no memory of that. I admire the strength of all those that have lived through these kind of tragic circumstances because even after reading this excerpt over and over I still cry.

10 comments:

  1. Tears come easily for me too. I've seen it as a weakness. I'll remember this story next time I cry. Thank you.

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  2. Ever so completely eloquent I will try to say something, and I'm sure it will come out wrong in my brain fog today. I appologize in advance.

    I am in total shock hearing your mother's story. I'm not one who always looks for the happy ending, because I know it doesn't happen in real life all the time, but I wasn't expecting this ending for her and her mother. I am so sad for her. We all deal with things differently though. I too had some tears, but not all, dry up when my daughter died. We all deal somehow right?

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing that with everyone. There is no greater pain than to lose a child. I can't even imagine. So sorry for your loss...my heart goes out to you.

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  4. I am speechless; what a touching post. Thanks so much for sharing. Luv to you and also to "B". I can't imagine anything more painful. xxx

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  5. This is really touching. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  6. Hi again, I'm so sleep-deprived, I can't remember if I've given you the aw-summ award for your awesomeness. If I haven't, please grab it from my blog.

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  7. Hey there. Just found your blog via Rice and Ramen. Have enjoyed reading and thought I would leave a comment!
    I too am a crier. Grey's, The Bucket List, Have you seen the Notebook? Yikes! Your Mom's story made me welt up.
    BFN
    MM

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  8. This post made me cry, how very sad. What a tragic story...it just breaks my heart! I cry easily too, but I don't mind. A good cry makes me feel better sometimes!

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  9. I am a crier! I can cry at sappy commercials! Anything! It's amazing to me how women of your mothers genration have hardned the soul to bury those emotions! What a story....I would be they same way if that happened to me! Crying is good!

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